I found this week I have a few stress induced health issues ! Stress? Me?
I would just as soon not say what they are , as they are "old " people things , lets just say I'm treating them and moving on ( Hey! That's my motto :) )
Also have a few decisions to make , and I'm completely indecisive about them , again really cannot go into detail ( way to make you come back and check my blog ) ;)
My kids seem to be doing better , that's a good thing , Will is really doing well in school , Mike likes band and Alex seems calmer.
My Dad appreciated me cleaning his apartment ! He is even going to accept my help to do it monthly if not more. WOW!
I have to come up with more of a gimmick for this blog , I was searching thru some of them and some are so awesome with pictures , professional looking writers etc.
I can do the pictures , the professional looking writing not so much , this is just for me to get the BS off my chest and whine a bit.
Going to go eat dinner and be in pain , ( hopefully only for a day or two more )
" Just keep swimmin!"
This is not all its cracked up to be , don't let anyone tell you otherwise , divorce and the demise of the nuclear family ........tough as hell!
I did not think it would be all wine and roses , no I actually had a pretty good idea of how it would be , although I myself am not a product of divorce , I actually had several friends growing up who went thru it , I saw how it affected them and how it changed things.
My personal belief is that its not the right thing to do which is why I tried to give marriage every chance , and even after all the money spent and pain gone thru I tried again........some people are just not meant to be together. Its that simple ( I think )
I don't think Rich was my soul mate , I think if he were God would not have let this happen , your meant to be with one person , that I firmly believe , he was not my one , although 3 awsome kids came from the union , we as a couple just did not work , I think it ALWAYS works if your with your soul mate.
I'm not looking for my soul mate , I actually think my time has passed for that , now is the time to help heal the pain , help my kids , work , forget. I turn to God often latley , I'm now wondering why he allows pain.....suffering , but I like to keep in mind the saying "God does not give you anything you cannot handle" . I think I'm strong enough to get through this , I think I can survive.
Ya , well ......yanno , Its me , I try anything once??!!!! ;) So if this is where I'm meant to be , so be it. God willing I will survive.
"Just keep swimmin!"
Not as gung ho as the other day , got a few signs that I'm meant to do this alone for awhile.
Its all good ,but a bit scary.
Going to take Alex ( age 9 ) to counsling , he is taking all this the hardest , it was sort of a novelty at the begining , when we were in the apartment with a pool and lots to do .
Now that its slowed down , and Mom is going to work more and the visitation is completely straightened out , he is back to acting out.
I decided to read self help books , not sure I can help myself , never had to before , but yanno ya gotta try. One I just read is called Bounce Back , its actually pretty funny and relevant at the same time , which is good for me since I use humor to get out of and into most everything in my life.
Going to also spend more time with my Dad , he is really getting older and needs more help , the plus side to my own house is that its blocks from where my Dad lives. He cannot do alot for himself now , going to clean for him , try to do what shopping he will let me and generally take care of him with out him knowing ( I hope ) He resents getting old and does not like to count on anyone. He sometimes had gotten put in hospital for one reason or another and not called me ( stubborn man ) wonder where I get it :)
Apparently a big key to getting thru any crisis or change is to keep busy , so going to for sure do that too , I have to work more ( UGH ) ....... I'm trying to find something part time closer to home then Arden Hills , business is ok , but not THAT good.
I think I might take some classes on small biz , I might start going to a book club , I think also maybe a divorce support group , groups are not my thing usually , but new chapter , new stuff to try.
Until next time " Just keep swimmin!"
I'm a divorced 46 year old woman , who has never been alone.
It sounds kind of concieted , but I have always had a man , I usually get what I want and I'm spoiled.
I'm no where near gorgeous or deserving , its just been how its been for my whole life , I don't know why.
I'm beginning a new chapter now , my marriage failed , part because of me .......I bet the spoiled part had a lot to do with it , and part because my X , (who by the way is a amazing Dad , just not that great of a husband ), thinks he can be a god and dictate to everyone everything and its his way or no way.
I have 3 beautiful sons , who unfortunatley suffered a lot because of this divorce , but hopefully with my new attitude and the fact that we both love them so much , they will come thru with flying colors.
I want to try the alone thing for awhile , although I like men , and want to have someone in my life that I can share with , I think its time for me now.
I'm renting a house , I need to learn how to do some " housey" things I have no clue about , thankfully I have friends that seem to be willing to show me how to do them .
I have a business I own , its starting to take off , but again that dang spoiled part of me comes out , I want the money but not the work , time to step up there too.
I also have a great friend who is my partner in the business and my boss at my part time job who is the MOST patient person I know , she is there for me even when I flake , I thank God for people like that in my life!
Finding new friends and support daily , life is good!
I also have an obsession , :) , only one other person knows about that , but it keeps me going to have something to think about ! More on that down the road.
"Just keep swimmin"
